Tuesday, May 2, 2006

jesus. i'm so tired. some of you might have noticed that i've been heinously busy and having breakdowns all over. it was mostly because of the work i do at the CSL. my boss has no concept of what is an appropriate workload. at all.

so basically, there was an awards ceremony. i work at the CSL, which is the "center for service and learning". basically, they coordinate the volunteer work on campus. i work in the division dedicated to encouraging professors to add community service components to their classes. we find them grants, we give them awards and shit, we give them teaching assistants. because i have some computer savvy and photoshop know-how i'm tagged for designing all the materials and shit that goes out. most of it is shit that no student should be doing for shit pay (i get paid the same amount as long as i work 10 hours a week. but 10 hours a week isn't enough to get anything done so you can see how i'm basically set up for sweatshop shit here.)

and my boss made it clear that she wanted me to present the grantees this year with portraits of themselves. she said this repeatedly. and she knows i've been busting my ass, wasting away my afternoons to go to these professors classes with their moronic students who don't know shit. and by the way, professors? are assholes. they had to be emailed repeatedly before they'd even reply. jesus fucking christ. like i WANT to go draw them? like i WANT to spend MORE time in a fucking classroom listening to MORE fuckhead obies making vague fuckhead comments and putting their stupid fat heads in mine line of sight. yes i LOVE doing that after a long fucking day. i don't WANT to. i HAVE to. it's my fucking job. how would they like it if i just went to their offices and kicked over thier computers and shit? that's what it's like. by being an asshole and not replying to shit you MAKE MY JOB HARDER. YOU MAKE ME WASTE TIME.

so then my boss tells me she wants me to make the certificates. ok. i could have made some lame shit like this: http://lenders.it/media/ucsd-certificate.jpg

that's what everyone else did. but those are pieces of shit. i hate them. when i get them i feel like i've been handed an ugly piece of paper that i can't throw away, i've been given a fucking thing i have to carrying around forever or else i'll feel guilty.

so i made certificates from scratch. you have not lived until you've tried to represent "sustainability" with a modern simplified nature motif. so i worked my ass off making these stupid things. i have pages and pages of my drafts. and someone else tagged me for making their certificates too. so that's 6 in total plus two cards. i know they look a little stupid and simple but i seriously put a retarded amount of thought into these. i also finished the sketches. these are all different images i put together in photoshop etcetc. i know they don't look like much but please understand that these were done in classrooms filled with stupid, annoying people, and caffeinated professors that move around.

so anyways, the ceremony. so i found out today that i am not actually giving them to the grantees tonight. my boss looked so baffled when i mentioned it. I was so mad. i'd stayed up all night redrawing shit and editing crap until it was just right. i used up so much of my own ink making draft prints of it to make sure they looked okay.

so i did all this crap. i missed one of my classes (i'll rant about that class later) and lunch to WORK ON THIS, OK? jesus. you know one of the professors couldn't even be bothered with me, she wanted me to just use photos.

then the ceremony it self was shit. i was a wreck and sleep deprived and totally fucked up my speech, my voice kept giving out strangely. i was so embarrassed because usually i think i do pretty well giving presentations. i won't even get into how fucking mean the professor i was a teaching assistant for was. jesus. mosto f the professors didn't evne show, the one i wanted to see the most that i actually worked with didn't show although she said she would now that i think about it.

so. that's the culmination of my semester's worth of work. a pile of ugly pictures


Sketches of Professors

Also: i went to harucon this weekend. i really shouldn't have with how busy i was but i promised. i drew many things there